From the devil's stomach.

Here I am, in my 6th hour of work, begging the gods of mercy to smite me.

I don't ask for much. In fact, I can't ask for anything in customer service. I am here to fulfill the needs of the customer; however, I can not even attend to your needs if you do not articulate what you want. And when you do ask me a question but do not listen to the answer- how does that help your cause?

Man: Where is the restroom?
Me: Continue straight down the hall and---

(Man drifts off and waves as if he heard then ends up getting lost)

Next order of business; ladies, don't pee on the seats. I can understand if your child needs help going potty. They're allowed to pee all over the place. Their age is a good excuse. You, on the other hand, are an adult. You should be able to make it into the toilet bowl. I'm not even mad! I'm impressed! I mean, I've seen pee in distant places, and I'd love to know how it got there. Are you even sitting? Next time, maybe pull your pants down a little more or something, or I am going to find where you live and pee on your toilet seats, the surrounding floors, and handles.

Next-next order of business; There is such thing as too much information. Ok, the paper towels are low; I'll fix that. The bathrooms are out of soap. A lady spilled her coffee; I'll call maintenance. The garbage can will be full soon? (really?) Great, AND the sun will burn out in a billion years.


Third order of business: Chanukkah. yay! Buy me a pony. That's all.

I know this post has been completely sarcastic but I can assure you I am in a wonderful mood. I just ate a donut.





High Water Count of the day: an impressive 5.

Question of the day: septum or monroe?