I suppose you can call this an update.

Yeah, well here goes.

Here is a list of occurrences that have happened over the course of two weeks.

1. Went to Jonesborough, TN for a dance weekend
2. Went on a wild adventure which will not be described here, to the readers misfortune.
3. Got a tattoo
4. Did some ecstasy. (I totally recommend it)
5. Broke up with my boyfriend
6. Went home.
7. Decided not to go to grad school even though I had a free ride and MORE.

..whoa SLOW DOWN CHARLIE!

Usually my mind works in lists. I think of things I have to do, things I have done, things I'd like to do, and the lists usually decrease until another list pops up. Sometimes my brain is a fucking ocean with words and small phrases floating around--random pieces of whole sentences that never amount to anything but inspire me nonetheless.

This week my brain has been images and numbers and they have all been recurring over and over again and pointing to Aville. Coincidences have me thinking that maybe the world isn't as random as i think it is. It almost makes me believe in fate. ALMOST, but I'm way too cynical for that.

Breaking up with jay might be the best thing that has happened to me. And it's not because I don't love him and the times we had weren't awesome. It's because now I remember what it's like to be Rachel Jessica fcking Hoffman. I don't need anyone. I can't need anyone until I know who I am and what I want. Jay thinks he knows what he wants. He thinks it's me. That seems unhealthy and obsessive. I don't think I can handle being that important to anyone just yet especially when I want to be alone. Or maybe I just need to be with the right person, and it's not him. I can't see myself with him forever, and I need to tell him that so he can get over me.

bahh humbug. High Violet by the National has gotten me through this disaster. I'm so happy that album exists.

I'll be moving back to Asheville to live with my friends, raise some chickens, be broke, enjoy the moment.  Fuck planning for the future. You can waste your entire life doing that, that and serving other people. I won't. I'll just work and dance.

Oh I left Tracy off that list. She freaked out at me at a contra danced then stopped talking to me. I. don't. get. it.


On hot days, we need some humor. Watch it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYQavD9mSIc