I am an elephant

I have a completely irrational fear

of mice.

Just an hour ago, I was lounging comfortably in my bed doing research on Heart of Darkness. I saw something like a shadow dart past my peripheral but thought nothing of it. Dust bunnies, my imagination, tricks of the light, all seemed like perfectly normal possibilities when home alone. Not more than a minute after, a mouse and I made eye contact. She saw me, scurried behind some shoes, and showed her face once more. I stood on the bed pointing for no reason, screaming like a psycho bitch then ran into the kitchen. Meanwhile, the mouse made a full circle around my feet, ran around the perimeter of the bed then followed me into the kitchen. I jumped on the counter, screamed a little more then waited for the mouse to retreat into the bathroom where I have vowed to never step foot again. I immediately texted everyone I knew then ran all the way to Dillons, cursing under my breath and bought some kill traps.

I am somewhat grateful that I haven't had to experience the messy business of mice until now, but with the absence of mice in my life, I have only grown more terrified. It will probably take me a bottle of wine, a club to the head, or a shot of Nyquil to get me to sleep in my own apartment tonight.

If there's one, there could be more! Hell, there could be a whole family of mice-letttes chewing on my Cheezits and socks at night. Not cool.

I've never experienced an anxiety attack before tonight. Where are my doctors when I need them (Tracy Wilkins and Christina Decusati)?!