Takin the A Train

Once upon a time, my old man got in an accident. He pinched a couple nerves in his spine and was unable to function without the aid of pain medicine. A year later I went off to college with a kind of normal father that had anger issues, but I suppose they were under control. Four years later I graduate college and come home to find out that he cheated on my mom for years with whoever he could, and that he is still addicted to pain killers and who the fuck knows what else.

Allan and Gail are signing final papers for a divorce and finally, my mom will be free from this shit--except that Allan won't be paying any child support, bills, or offering any support. 

Our house is going to be sold by this time next year and it will be like the Hoffman's never existed in this small corner of Wyoming, OH. (who names a suburb after a state, anyways?) My little brother will graduate high school all psychologically fucked up and my mom will be struggling for the rest of her poor little life. I'm going to help them as much as I can, but I'm not planning on acquiring a well-off life style.

For the sake of recollection. I'm going to list the good things about my father I should remember.

1. Summer/Fall/Spring camping trips in MI, WI, KY, NC,etc

2. hiking

3. he taught me how to chop wood

4. he showed me jazz and classic rock

5. taught me how to build a fire.

6. taught me how to dumpster dive (hah- veryyy useful)

7. put in my head the idea of no-god when my mom preached love-god.

8. he built a business from his own hands and it was successful for most of our lives.

9. taught me how to change my own oil

10. taught me how to appreciate the small things.

so basically, he showed me the most important things I need to know--mechanical things I need to survive on my own, and now, I'll survive on my own. Now I can let this go. I AINT gonna be a chick with daddy issues. That's for damn sure.