Before work, Rae is unedited and hopeful. After work, Rae is gonna tag some shit up.

(first draft only)

Golden Corral

Picture a cavernous Golden Corral

dappled with a few fancy rhinestone church hats

and rugged West Siders with gauges.

The fruit display behind the buffet looks like a well

organized cornucopia at Kroger

on a Monday morning before the rush.

And we are admiring the plastic-like canteloup

from the farthest corner we can find

because Jews love to cast themselves out.

In addition to our self-inflicted reclusion,

the restaurant is already in segregated disrepair.

The baptists are too well dressed for this meal

and only get along with the wait-staff;

The morbidly obese people always sit on their own

but near eachother thinking about their next plate,

the young and hip move in tight-jeaned masses,

and we like to watch a good, authentic drama unfold.

Before long, we have created our own.

Just as suspected, Dad opens up

conversation with his life-long repulsion

of commitment and how he is moving away.

Grandpa, at the end of the table can hear him

but is doing a good job of pretending not to

while he slurps up noodles and tries his hand eye

coordination at poking a pea with a prong of his fork.

My brothers gave up arguing with him years ago

and all I can think about is how we came here

to watch everyone else who is now watching

the veins on my father's neck protrude farther

and farther out from his flesh.

It only escalates from here.

He takes a painkiller and reaches for his cane

to get more shrimp. When he returns he remembers

exactly where he left off; his mind

surprisingly unclouded by surgery.

Every minute another pair of eyes makes contact

with my own and I begin to believe that if we

do not leave, either Jerry Springer, an MTV camera crew,

or child services will appear to bottle up our thunder.

Grandpa tips the big booted waitress a sad $2

that makes us cringe and wish we had change,

then we leave the space

to those who orbit the tables unassumingly

to collect food that replaces itself impeccably fast.

To the long windows that don't keep a single ray of light in.